MisreadBible

MisreadBible

For I read the Bible through a lens, squinting - 1 Corinthians 13:12
Genesis > Abraham

Eww!

Genesis 19

30 Lot and his two daughters, who had been restored to life (deus ex machina), left Zoar and settled in a cave in the mountains, because he was scared to live in Zoar for some reason.

31 One day, Lot’s daughters were talking, when the elder daughter blurted out, ‘I fucked Dad last night.’

‘What?’ exclaimed the younger.

32 ‘Yeah, I got him tanked up on wine, and then went in and rode his boner.’

33 ‘Okay…’ replied the younger. ‘I’m not sure how I feel about this.’

34 ‘You should try it.’

‘Eww, no!’

‘Look, there are no other men on Earth, so we need to repopulate. Plus, he’s actually pretty well-hung, and he’s a demon in the sack.’

Her younger sister was stunned. She replied, ‘Firstly, we’ve just left Zoar, and there were men there. Secondly, eww!’

‘Oh, I forgot that there were men in Zoar.’

‘Yeah!’

‘Well, I think you should sleep with him anyway.’

‘Why?’

‘He’s getting tired of screwing me, and he wants to try it with you.’

‘What?’ yelled her younger sister. ‘So, this has been going on for a while?’

‘Uhuh,’ nodded the elder sister.

‘I… I just can’t look at you right now.’

35 That night, the elder sister drugged the younger, and when she was asleep, Lot had his way with her.

36 So both of Lot’s daughters were impregnated by him. 37 The elder had a son called Moab who went on to be the progenitor of the Moabites. 38 And the younger daughter also had a son, and she called him Ben-Ammi, which means ‘son of bitch’, and he went on to be the progenitor of the Ammonites.


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