Wailing on the Rock [draft]
Wailing on the Rock
The Israelites travelled from the Desert of Sin to Rephidim near Mount Horeb, and once again, they found themselves without water. The people were distraught and wept bitterly. 2 ‘This is awful! We’re wandering the desert without water!’ they cried. ‘This isn’t what we signed up for!’
‘Why are you complaining to me?’ sighed Moses.
3 ‘Because you brought us out of Egypt, you’re leading us, and you’re the one who talks to God.’
4 ‘Oh, and that makes me in some way responsible?’ he griped.
But the Israelites were inconsolable.
So, Moses called to the Lord, ‘God, they’re bitching at me again!’
5 ‘Yeah,’ remarked the Lord, ‘they are kind of a whingy bunch, aren’t they?’
‘Well, how am I going to give them something to drink?’
6 ‘See that rock over there?’ said the Lord, pointing.
‘Take your magical staff and hit it.’
So, Moses took his staff and he struck the rock.
‘Harder!’ yelled the Lord.
Moses hit it again.
Moses was battering the stone with all his might.
After a while, Moses was exhausted. ‘Nothing’s happening,’ he groaned.
‘Yeah, nor will it.’
‘Well, how are we supposed to get water?’ fumed Moses.
‘Oh, there’s a little stream over there,’ said the Lord, gesturing to a small spring behind the hill.
‘For fuck’s sake!’ cursed Moses. ‘Then why the hell did you have me hit the rock?’
‘Because,’ sneered the Lord, ‘it’s a stupid rock! It repenteth me that I made it! Look at it, sitting there looking all smug.’
‘Jesus Christ!’ barked Moses.
7 And the Israelites called that place Massah, which means ‘wailing Israelites’, and Meribah, which means ‘stupid rock!’