MisreadBible

MisreadBible

For I read the Bible through a lens, squinting - 1 Corinthians 13:12

The Plagues

If You Want Blood (You Got It) - When Aaron's snake trick fails miserably, the Lord tells him to turn Egypt's water into blood.

Ribbitted for Your Pleasure - When Pharaoh refuses to let the Israelites go, the Lord sends a plague of frogs to irritate him.

Lousy Flies! - God decides to annoy the Egyptians further by sending plagues of lice and flies, but Pharaoh still refuses to let the Israelites go.

Intermission - The following takes place between the fourth and fifth plagues. Moses is getting tired of God's behaviour.

Entr'acte - Part two of the story begun in Intermission. Moses attempts to reconcile with God.

Pharaoh Gets Ash and Pussy - God inflicts a very gross plague on the Egyptians.

Great Balls of Fire! - God decides to inflict his most impressive plague yet: flaming hail. Moses has his doubts.

Attack of the Little Green Nibblers! - What's worse than blood, frogs, lice, flies, boils, and flaming hail? Locusts!

Darkness That Can Be Felt! - God inflicts his latest plague on the Egyptians: darkness.

How to Plan a Genocide - God tells Moses his final plague, and this time it's biblical!

The Feast of Bread Without Yeast - In preparation for the final plague, God decides to make dinner plans.

Lambs to the Slaughter - Moses instructs the Israelites to slaughter lambs, and God goes out and slaughters the Egyptians.

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